I was pregnant for the first time at 45, and I was scared too -- of everything -- I remember the night after I found out, I woke up at 3 am in a pure panic.
Mostly I was scared I would have no idea what to do with a baby -- but hey, I found that all my fears were completely unfounded.
Had a completely healthy excellent pregnancy, and I have never known anything so wonderful as carrying a child and then having a baby (well I don't know that I was saying that in the middle of labour, but even labour I would love to do it again, seriously).
I can speak from experience. My husband is the youngest of 7, and his closest sibling is 19 years older than him. He was always mistaken as their child, and his mother was taken as his grandmother. And he has nieces and nephews that are older than him.
He said it was a joke when growing up and he would be about 7 or 8 and tell them to respect their uncle Rob. Everyone would laugh. But he is the one in the family that has been the most responsible, and done the best for himself. Maybe it is because he had so many "parents", and just grew up more mature.
I don't know if everyone has the ability to do this, but it made me feel a lot better last night.
I had read in an infertility book some time ago that all this stuff about it being hard to get pregnant in our 40’s just isn't automatically true, that we should look into our family history, and see there that women routinely had babies into their 40's in the past.
So I got out the family tree book last night, for my dad's side, which goes back to the 1700's... Guess what? ALL of the women I am descended from in his family had their last baby in their 40's, average age being 43/44.
There are about 20 women listed, and only one had her last child in her 30's. And I seriously doubt if any of them went to REs [reproductive endocrinologist] or took Clomid... It really cheered me up.
Plus my husband was right there telling me about his side of the family, women who had their last child at 45-53...!
Anyway, check out your family tree for inspiration.
I had my last at 46, and I have certainly had other women on this board who have delivered healthy babies over 45. I think the oldest mom to be on this board was 49 when she gave birth.
We aren't doing anything extraordinary, but what keeps me going/hoping is knowing someone (my sister's mother-in-law) who had a surprise pregnancy at 50 (!) and delivered a healthy baby girl.
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