Let's face it, the vast majority of women are not having children in their 40's because they CHOOSE not to and there is great birth control now available to make their choice a reality. I read that as short a time ago as the 1960's, about 4x as many women were giving birth in their 40's as give birth at similar ages now (including my own mother).
Hmmmmm.... what's different then and now? Oh YEAH, the advent of easily acquired and very reliable birth control in all 50 states. Also abortion on demand. Most women I know in their 40's are not having kids and really don't want to have any more kids.
I think too many RE's are below age 50 and haven't lived through the times when it was very "normal" for women to have babies through their 40's. Of course, the women RE's see trying to get pregnant in their 40's often need special help. Hence their stupid comments like "the baby you had at age 41 was a fluke."
Both things skew their perspective....if you are a carpenter then the whole world is a nail if you know what I mean.
Women in the "olden days" had tons of babies in their 40's.... Anyone who has done genealogy knows that. Amazingly so, in fact.
I'm not a grandma, but could easily be. I have a 27 year old daughter, 25 year old son. Skip 10 years, 16 year old daughter and now a 2 month old son.
I'm 49, so the grandma question has already come up, along with many, many second looks, dying to ask. A few weeks ago, my husband, 16 year old & I were shopping, and she had the baby in a chest carrier and people couldn't figure it out.
She looks about 14 and totally enjoys pretending he's hers. Finally, one lady just had to start a conversation to figure it out. I look too old, she looks too young.
The first day I took him out to a store, the clerk was oohing and ahing and then asked, "are you keeping him for the day?" I told her I have him for the next 18 or 20 years.
I am 44 and have a 4 month old. I, like you were completely finished with my family. I did not take being pregnant well at all. I wished it would go away until he arrived. I was embarrassed.
After all, how many 43 year olds get pregnant without trying?
Unplanned.. yes.. But I've been there and done that.. And I think I'm starting to come to grips with it.
As is hubby.. Haven't told the kids yet.. That should be interesting. I'll be 45 when he/she is born..But.. As my doc would say.. Age is but a number..
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