Long journey ends in 1st-time motherhood at 45
Max, a chubby-cheeked, eight-pound boy with a shock of strawberry blond hair, arrived on a crisp November afternoon. Just shy of nine months earlier, 45-year-old Daryl Peddar had given motherhood one final chance.
For the past six years, Peddar and her husband, Andrew, had been struggling to start a family. They had gone through five failed rounds of assisted reproduction, two painful miscarriages and at one point, given up altogether.
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TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
Hot Flashes Warm Bottles : First-Time Mothers Over Forty-- The first prescriptive and anecdotal guidebook for the multitudes of older moms, and distills the wisdom, insight, and practical advice gathered during her years as a therapist and support group leader. With tips for renewing physical and sexual energy, parenting after infertility and adoption, balancing career and family, and caring for elderly parents, the personal stories from these older moms are often humorous, sometimes surprising, but always reassuring. Without exception, the reader will be left with the comforting knowledge that she is not alone on her journey. Hot Flashes fills a much-needed place in the parenting field, at a time when more and more women are embracing motherhood later in life.
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More "Pregnancy Over 40" blogs to visit:
Life Begins... - Miscarriage stories of loss, hope & help
Pregnancy Stories by Age - Daily blog of hope & inspiration!
You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's - Sharing articles, discussing options & suggestions
Stories of Pregnancy and Birth over 44 years old - sharing news stories I find online, for inspiration!
Life Begins... - Miscarriage stories of loss, hope & help
Pregnancy Stories by Age - Daily blog of hope & inspiration!
You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's - Sharing articles, discussing options & suggestions
Stories of Pregnancy and Birth over 44 years old - sharing news stories I find online, for inspiration!
Happy for the Peddar family after their struggle to conceive, but worry about the son and the pressures he will face later in life due to having older parents; possibly deceased parents as he hits his mid-20's. Obviously choosing to have children later in life insinuates that these folks will have their Max well looked after financially but money isn't everything. No parent/s to walk him down the aisle (unless he rushes his marriage in hopes that his parents participate in the ceremony), no siblings to celebrate his life accomplishments or assist with the care of his parents as they age, even emotionally. Perhaps they won't be there to see him graduate post-secondary schooling and certainly won't be very agile, or again even alive, to see Max have a family of his own. This is a decision that came about a bit late and only Max will experience how bad a decision it was as he becomes an adult. Really anytime after age 40, a women (and her partner) must take a step back and think how this will affect their child. He will now be pressured to fulfill many things in life too soon so that his parents can be included. Accidents happen and you make the best of what your dealt but this was a decision this family choose. One can only hope that he has lots of cousins and other family members close to his age living nearby so that he has a support group/family that he is very close to. Selfishness comes in all forms. Even when you think you are doing what is best sometimes in retrospect you can see how wrong you were. That is why having children late in life is a huge decision that needs to be thought about and discussed not only amongst the parents to be but also with other family members that will need to be there so the child can prosper past his parents death.
Many people have fears about older parents dying young, and yes, it is certainly a risk. I get the feeling that people think you turn 60 and are sitting in a rocking chair, senile and in diapers!
Recently my father-in-law (70), his son (51), son-in-law (67), and brothers (67 & 79) built a garage, from the ground up, climbing up onto the roof and all. I know several young men that would not be able to do that!
People nowadays are living longer and healthier, but even with health problems they are having full and active lives.
My own mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at 54, and is still with us, healthy and strong at 81 years old. Max will be 36 if his mom lives that long.
My aunt is a diabetic, blind and still gets around on her own, lively and quick. She is 89 years old, Max will be 48 if his mom lives that long.
I met two laughing men in the grocery store one day, full of fun and enjoying life! It was one of the men's 99th birthday! Max will be 54 if his mom lives that long.
"having children... is a huge decision that needs to be thought about and discussed not only amongst the parents to be but also with other family members that will need to be there so the child can prosper past his parents death."
So true for any child - no one knows what tomorrow will bring. I know young mothers that died at 16, 21, 32 years of age - leaving little children behind.
All anyone can do is love them well while we cane and prepare for any eventualities. No matter what age we become a parent...
my mother was 46 when she had me and my father died when i was 4yrs old ,mum never had much money but i had the best one you could ask for she died aged 88 yrs of cancer that took her after only five weeks,before that she could run rings round most of my friends younger mums it dose not matter what age you are when your mum dies if you love her to bits, shes still your mum its nearly 4yrs since she died and not a day goes by when i do not think of her ,so dont worry about your age if you know you can love and care xx